It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
