So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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