I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
