apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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