I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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