they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You left your phone here
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