did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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