Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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