none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
