i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
