Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
cat food counts as protein by the way
My ATM looks so different sober.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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