the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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