good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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