I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
