# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he was CRYING into my vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Blood and glitter go together right?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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