Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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