have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize