Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
