ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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