Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
