My Higher Power is John Stamos
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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