Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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