the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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