if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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