whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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