She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
