the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
