I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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