I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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