had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
