Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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