My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
