He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize