so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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