What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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