i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
