so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
