can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
