My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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