Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
