yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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