U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm getting married
To pizza
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
