She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
