You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
