Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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