She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize