a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
