He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
