like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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