My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
