Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize