I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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