Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
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Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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