We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
