i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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