it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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