Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
