I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
