Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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